Healing
by Shutters
Summary: Set during Season 4, how Tony and Michelle react when meeting each other again for the first time since splitting up... One-shot


_This is a__ story I wrote a long time ago, but I have recently edited and improved it. _

_So here goes…_

* * *

And then she left him.

Drunk as usual, sitting on the couch, mindlessly watching TV. He didn't even see the front door close. He didn't feel the pain she had felt as she cried herself to sleep not just that night, but every night that week.

She had felt betrayed.

He didn't even fight for her, though deep down he knew he should have. He didn't have the strength... he never had the strength any more.

He had been frustrated.

But that didn't justify how he had treated her. He had made life hard for her, not just financially. He had shouted for no reason, blamed her for things out of her control. He never touched her any more, he was ashamed, she deserved more than he could give her.

She had left him.

She had walked away, literally closed the door and ended the best thing that had ever happened to her. She'd be lying if she said she had never looked back, she had. More than one night had been spent wishing he would turn his life around for her, prove he could be the man she'd married once again.

But he didn't.

He drowned himself in alcohol instead. He had chosen to let her go, allowed her to move on with her life. Outwardly he blamed her for the break down but inside he knew the truth. It was his fault, he couldn't deal with life after prison, and the one person who could have helped him through he had pushed away.

She had really gone.

It took him a long time to cry. To accept what he had done, what he had ruined. But at least she was alive. He had saved her from death and that was worth anything.

As the weeks turned slowly into months she began to realise that he was never coming back. The man she had promised to love forever had gone, his spirit crushed by prison and then stolen by alcohol.

But she would stand by her promise; she would love him forever, even if he no longer loved her…

* * *

The day was already a disaster, but it was about to get much worse.

"Michelle?"

"Yes?" She looked up from her desk, "How can I help, Kath?" Michelle flicked her straightened hair away from her face, she hated it straight, but her curls brought back painful memories of happier times.

"Have you been updated on the situation over at CTU?"

"Yes I have, I'm on my way over there now to take over from Erin Driscoll. Thank you, Kath"

Michelle lent back over her desk, trying to clear away some of the mess before she left. It was going to be a long night. Glancing up she noticed Kath still standing awkwardly in the doorway,

"Was there something else?"

"Umm… yes, Michelle… I just wanted to tell you, you probably already know… I just wanted to make sure…"

"Come on Kath, what is it?"

"Tony Almeida has been temporarily reinstated; he's actually being running CTU for the last half hour. I thought you'd want to know before you got there." She finished lamely.

"Right. Thanks." Kath nodded briefly and left.

Michelle slumped into her chair, allowing the unexpected news to wash over her. Tony, her Tony, was running CTU? How had that happened? And today of all days...

She'd be working with him again. Her heart started to beat a bit faster as her mind processed this information. Did this mean he was finally putting his life back together? She smiled to herself, but her smile quickly faded from her face. He had pushed her away; she couldn't let him hurt her like that again.

But if he was back at work maybe he had changed… maybe the Tony she had married was there at CTU waiting for her... 'Maybe' was better than nothing.

But then, even if he had changed, she was the reason his life had fallen apart, she had left him when he had needed her most, he wouldn't want her back in his life now, not when he was finally back on his own two feet.

He was probably living with someone else by now… The thought of Tony with another woman ripped yet another strip from her heart.

She needed to protect herself, protect her already broken heart, and she needed to accept that the life she'd had with him was over. She just had to get through the next few hours and then walk away… again.

Picking up her unnecessarily large bag, she left Division for CTU, her emotionless mask already in place.

* * *

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Michelle Dessler. Do you know her?"

Did I know her? How could I ever forget her? He obviously had no idea.

Tony turned away from him, "I used to be married to her," the sinking feeling inside him growing ever stronger.

And then he saw her.

He hardly recognised her. She was wearing a suit; his Michelle had never worn suits. Her hair was straight; his Michelle had always had the most beautiful curly hair. But what hit him hardest were her eyes…

They were hard and cold, unrecognisable from the soft brown eyes, which had captured his heart right here in CTU. For three years he had lived to see the laughter in those eyes, they had made him feel complete. But now they were just a harsh reminder of what he had lost, how he had hurt her, and what he could never have again.

* * *

Michelle scanned CTU, quickly realising how few of the faces she knew - but then that was the nature of the job. If she was honest with herself there was only one face she was truly looking for: Tony's.

And then she saw him.

He looked the way she felt: lost, speechless and confused. His weary face was as easy for her to read as it had been when they'd been married. But something was different from the last time she had seen him, the fire was finally back in his eyes…

* * *

_What did you think?_


End file.
